This Week

This week has equaled a place ran by satan. I lost my best friend. it does hurt but if she doesnt wanna be friends just cause i told my mom what was upsetting me and my mom called her mom, thats her choice. Me and my mom are getting closer and she knows almost everything. Its kind of whatever. If my old best friend seriously wants to pin everything on me, go ahead. I wasnt even home when the call was made and my mom mainly called because i just left and she had no clue where i was. You cant be mad at someone for something that they didnt even do. but its part of growing up.. You learn who will accept you and put up with your "bull S..." but if they wont, its not worth tryin to fix.
Oh, by the way... im presuing my dreams of joinin the national guard. I talk to Srgt Justin Wolfe tuesday....!

Past Regrets

Looking back, I regret alot of the things that I have done. One of the things I regret was not telling him how i truly felt about him. He knows I love him and always will, but I've tried to move on and get him out of my head but it doesnt help when he keeps texting me saying stuff that makes me fall for him all over again. He lives all the way in Arizona and like that would ever work. My best friend Breanna, i think, is the only one who truly knows how much he affects my everyday life. He texted me the other night saying that he wanted to hang when he gets back in town tomorrow night but i dont think its a wise thing for us to do so. One of the things he sent to me the other night is this:
"A part of you has grown in me, together forever we will be, never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart."
I cried when i read that and wrote it down in my wonderful journal.


But im goin to try really hard this time to move on. I think it would be best for me. I cant go on living in the past.
I need to change alot about me. Yeah, i used to do drugs pretty profusely but i have been clean one month and 4 days. Its taken alot out of me, but breannas been there through it all pushing me towards being clean. I know all the stuff she's been through with what drugs do to people and i dont wanna be just another broken record in her life. Shes like my sister and im gonna be there for her no matter what. Im gonna tell her the things that she deserves to know because ive been through all that lying and cheating b.s. and its the worst feeling in the world. I know i make her mad sometimes with the stuff i do and the things i say but im just trying to help her. Why? Because she's my best friend that i've ever had and i truly mean that.

My New Baby Girl!

By baby girl, i actually mean a new baby puppy. Well she's not really a puppy. Shes a year and a half old. Thats considered a puppy compared to my other dog. Shes a brendal pitbull and absolutely adorable. Her original name was "Isis" (ices-which is weird). I renamed her "Sadie Jayne" because she responded to Sadie. Shes absolutely precious and has an adorable face. She listens well and can be mean if she wants to be. For example, I was out walking her and we ran into my ex and we were talking and he was acting like he was going to "get her" and she went psycho and tried to bite him. I was proud of her for that one. She sleeps with me at night and follows me wherever i go. One thing i dont like about her is that she has the worst farts in the world. Its funny though. Well im out for now! I'll be on here next week!