Hmmm.

So i havent been on here in a while. Since the last time i was on here i moved into an apartment, got another job, and got a boyfriend. The apartment is small but its manageable. The other job, is at Melle's Diner. My mom works there and i got a job as a waitress. I like being a waitress mainly because of the tips. Its an easy job, even during rush hours. Now as for the boyfriend: His names Jerred. He's 20 and has his own apartment and actually works. We have been together for 3 weeks and it feels like its been alot longer than that. We have VERY similar personalities: a total smart alec and a sense of humor. My mom actually approves, which is very rare. She usually hates every guy that I have got involved with.

As for "drama": Im not the one who started all this crap. Someone texted me out of no where and decided to bring up my past with drugs and say that i was not going to amount to nothing. I have been sober for quite awhile and im not going to mess that up because that would prove you right. Im to the point right now where i dont really care about who likes me and who doesnt. Im just not going to be called a "druggie" when they too were doing drugs along with me. However the situation, im getting along better with my mom, Jerred, and my best friend, Ashley. Its a part of growing up: learning who is your friend and who will not judge you on your flaws and letting them go if thats what they want.

My week!

So this week has been crazy.. Me and my mom are supposed to move out of our current house because her and her man broke up. He's tryin to start stuff with both of us. My mom let me skip school Tuesday and i went around to people borrowing money. Its kind of embarrassing having to ask for money. My mom finally got a job.. She's cooking at Melle's Diner and yesterday was her first day. Life is hard right now but it will all get better. Tonight i have to work, then tomorro morning i have band comp at 645 am. After that, i am stayin all night at my brothers with my neice and nephew while my brother and his wife go camping. Sunday, i have to work at 9 a.m., then mayfete practice right after i get off. I need time to relax....

Blah. My Spring Break...

So my spring break consisted of me doing absolutely nothing... It was a blast. I slept in then took a shower than id go to tanning and come home and take my dog for a walk. I also made up with Breanna over the break too and also made her room smell bad. All im gonna say is that i had eggs for breakfast. I know. Thats definitely grody.! And my little princess decided to eat breannas stuffed animals. She's psycho man. She bit Breanna's dad!! Funny Though................. WEll im getting off here. See ya later...

This Week

This week has equaled a place ran by satan. I lost my best friend. it does hurt but if she doesnt wanna be friends just cause i told my mom what was upsetting me and my mom called her mom, thats her choice. Me and my mom are getting closer and she knows almost everything. Its kind of whatever. If my old best friend seriously wants to pin everything on me, go ahead. I wasnt even home when the call was made and my mom mainly called because i just left and she had no clue where i was. You cant be mad at someone for something that they didnt even do. but its part of growing up.. You learn who will accept you and put up with your "bull S..." but if they wont, its not worth tryin to fix.
Oh, by the way... im presuing my dreams of joinin the national guard. I talk to Srgt Justin Wolfe tuesday....!

Past Regrets

Looking back, I regret alot of the things that I have done. One of the things I regret was not telling him how i truly felt about him. He knows I love him and always will, but I've tried to move on and get him out of my head but it doesnt help when he keeps texting me saying stuff that makes me fall for him all over again. He lives all the way in Arizona and like that would ever work. My best friend Breanna, i think, is the only one who truly knows how much he affects my everyday life. He texted me the other night saying that he wanted to hang when he gets back in town tomorrow night but i dont think its a wise thing for us to do so. One of the things he sent to me the other night is this:
"A part of you has grown in me, together forever we will be, never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart."
I cried when i read that and wrote it down in my wonderful journal.


But im goin to try really hard this time to move on. I think it would be best for me. I cant go on living in the past.
I need to change alot about me. Yeah, i used to do drugs pretty profusely but i have been clean one month and 4 days. Its taken alot out of me, but breannas been there through it all pushing me towards being clean. I know all the stuff she's been through with what drugs do to people and i dont wanna be just another broken record in her life. Shes like my sister and im gonna be there for her no matter what. Im gonna tell her the things that she deserves to know because ive been through all that lying and cheating b.s. and its the worst feeling in the world. I know i make her mad sometimes with the stuff i do and the things i say but im just trying to help her. Why? Because she's my best friend that i've ever had and i truly mean that.

My New Baby Girl!

By baby girl, i actually mean a new baby puppy. Well she's not really a puppy. Shes a year and a half old. Thats considered a puppy compared to my other dog. Shes a brendal pitbull and absolutely adorable. Her original name was "Isis" (ices-which is weird). I renamed her "Sadie Jayne" because she responded to Sadie. Shes absolutely precious and has an adorable face. She listens well and can be mean if she wants to be. For example, I was out walking her and we ran into my ex and we were talking and he was acting like he was going to "get her" and she went psycho and tried to bite him. I was proud of her for that one. She sleeps with me at night and follows me wherever i go. One thing i dont like about her is that she has the worst farts in the world. Its funny though. Well im out for now! I'll be on here next week!

Moving in February

So this past saturday, the 20th, my mom and i moved back into her boyfriends house. We moved out in the first place because i punched him in the face. I really didnt want to move because i like it just me and my mom. I just want her to be happy so that she'll get off my back about stupid stuff. It took us 2 hours to move everything there and maybe about 5 truck loads. It sucked though cause right when we got everything done, i had to get ready for work. Then i worked at 7 am the next morning so i had no clue where anything was. Then finally last night, i went through all my stuff and unpacked. it took me about 2hours. It wasnt very fun at all. I hate moving. Come back Next week for another funnnnn blogggg.

Being sorry for something that wasnt my fault..

So i love it when people get mad at me for stuff that wasnt even my fault. They need to get it through their heads that i didnt tell the cops anything that they already didnt know, from him as a matter of fact. Yeah, rumors are going around and most of them are completely wrong. Why would i say something, risking him getting in trouble if i have feelings for him? Yeah, i wouldnt. It's just dumb. I talked to him today for the first time in a week, since all this b.s. went down. Its not the same and it bothers me. I just want him to know that im sorry, sorry for something that wasnt my fault.

Why cops are bad examples?

Cops.. Hmm. well, i dont like them. They lock up people who truly have a good heart but doesnt really have the best home life. I was taken to the police department over one of my REALLY good friends. I rode in the back of the cop car and you know what the cop did? First of all, He didnt even wear a seatbelt, yeah thats not really a good example. Yeah, hes a cop but he could still get in a wreck. Second of all, in town the speed limit is 35, well mr. officer decides to go 45. im pretty sure thats a 50 dollar ticket sir. plus 75 for no seatbelt. Click it or Ticket..Pay up :). i thought i was goin to die in the back of a cop car. They really set a good example for me. Well played sir.

My Wonderful Weekend Adventure.

This weekend was very fun. I went to Winter Jam Concert with my best frann Breanna. We saw alot of freaky looking people in goth outfits and they scared the crap outta us. We got back to the hotel room late that night and stayed up talkin until like 1:30a.m. We then woke up early and had breakfast, and it was quite good. Since we were bored, we decided to jump in the pool/hottub. The funniest thing I think we did all day was that we took a bubble bath together...in our bathing suits. We ended up soaking the floor with our bubbles! Then on the way back to Paris, we ended up falling asleep on one another, then woke up right outside of town.

My Plans For The Future..

When i was a little girl, i always wanted to be a teacher. That all changed when i finally hit high school. I think i might want to join the army national guard or be a member of the us navy. The service would pay for all my schooling and i wouldnt have to worry about paying the government back for loans. I would be working it off. At school, i would like to go into a field of psychology. I think the human mind is an interesting thing that does need to be understood alot more. But for now, im going to concentrate on graduating high school. I also need to stay out of legal trouble. I dont mean to find trouble, it just sort of happens.

My Bestie...Breanna

So, yeh it's me. My first blog is going to be about my best friend, Breanna Norman. We've always been friends, but the past 6 months we've been really close. Right now, I pretty much live with her and im always there. Shes always been there for me, even when i needed a ride at 11 p.m. after i punched my mom's boyfriend in the face, on a school night. She made me find the humor in that one. You know its bad when we know what each others thinking. Ha its really funny. She hates it when i go to her house in the morning and drag her out of bed at 6:30 in the morning. We go together like peanut butter and jelly, and i love her like a fat kid loves cake. Oh and i love it how her mom cooks for me. Yummy! She says i corrupted her, but i dont think so. Okay, hope ya enjoyed hearing about my bestie.. Ill be on here again eventually... Dueces..
-Beth